...JUST START WRITING

 Is the advice I usually get, when I ask someone for an essay advice. I have been struggling with how I want my blog to be. What information is worthy enough? What progress is "the progress"? Then I have realised that this blog aims to reflect my baby steps towards my dream career/knowledge/insight (basically a progress).  

I will start my blogging journey with a topic I find the most interest in. Automatic Drawing. I came across automatism when I was finishing my undergraduate degree in Art History. Back then (almost 2 years ago) I was researching anything which can help me to get on a right track. Therefore, I was researching a correlation between art and psychology and I found Freud and psychoanalysis. The writings, especially a book Surrealism and the Occult. The topic caught my eye because the artists I was writing about were experimenting with automatism in order to communicate with spirits. I have always been interested in witch-y stuff: all those crystals, astrology ( I am a Gemini, can't you tell?!) and tarot. To conclude, automatism, especially automatic drawing is a technique, which resonates with me on multiple levels. It is a psychological tool for tapping into subconscious and at the same time, it has a mystical usage.(Can you speak to spirits through automatism? I unfortunately did not find the answer, as it was not the aim of my dissertation, but I like to be open minded about it). 

Enough of my background. I have started a postgraduate degree in Therapeutic and Developmental Play, where I have to study the basics of psychology, therefore I had no time nor strength to "study for fun". But now, as I am finishing my degree, I came to terms about what I am (roughly) interested in and what is important to me.  

I am trying to come back to automatism, not much as a theory but rather in practice. I am hoping to discuss automatism in my dissertation, but I have been so far unfortunate with the amount of sources. I am attaching not my first, but the most recent automatic piece I did a few days ago. 

I actually do not know how to analyse this piece. When this automatic drawing was created, I was going through a big change, which was a moving house. For majority of people, moving is not a big deal but for someone, who has never had a place called "home", it is a big thing. I did feel a lot of emotions back then, I was stressed, I did not know how I will manage to move stuff in one day or how my new flatmates accept me. Guess what, I managed to move house successfully, my new room and my new flatmates are nice so all good. From this drawing, I feel a lot of energies flowing at the same time. All those different colours represent different things (worries perhaps?) with their own flow. When I was drawing this, I tried to have my mind clear so my hands can move freely. I definitely felt lighter as I finished this drawing. I feel like automatism is both about the process and the interpretation. What is more important? for me, I am trying to be open minded and trying to avoid any assumptions about it. I feel that automatism is my subjective journey and if I am not able to identify what I have created, I am okay. Actually, right now, I think I will be focusing on the process and how it makes me feel, something like a meditation. 

I am not selecting time for automatism, when the urge comes it comes... like with everything in life:)